I understand your whole paragraph. And I know exactly what you mean by when you say about how you felt and how you feel now. I feel the same. I love L but i know how i felt with you. And yes I am the same way I know how it will be if i ever see you again. and Im mixed about how i feel about that. Part of me says yes and part of me says no. .


I am glad things with you n her are doing so well. I am very Happy for you. and I do mean that. If i can't be the one to furfill your dreams I want someone there who can. I want this to make it Andy. *thinks hard* I dunno why or how or when. But I feel linked to you. I can't expalin it. And i want to badly. I feel this need to at least have contact with you. to know you to keep track of you n how you are n what is going on in that life of yours. To have you let me inside your life. I have never felt this connection with anyone never wanted this kind of connection with anyone. But you.. I do not know what was so diffrent with you or why i want this. I hope you can understand.

If I never get to see you face to face again in my life. I at least want this or something. is that selfish of me? And do you think you can give it?

You do not have to give me anything for my birthday. You have given me a lifetime of things. And when I can figure out how to explain them to you, I will write it here.

When do I think of you? geez LOL It's alot. prolly 10 times a day or more. And at places or things that remind me of you.
such as when i showered at moms the past weekend. I had my eyes closed and i remembered. Everything. Every touch .. every look the way you felt the way you smile. And how you made me feel.

I do not know If anything could ever be of us again. I do not know That i truely want to find out. but there is that piece of me that knows the familar feeling of you, and it holds it dear in my heart.
Something I have never experienced before. and Probally never will again.
And Maybe this is why i call you my soulmate. because No one ever has give me or made me feel inside the way you did.

I hope this makes sense. If not tell me and I will try to explain it more ..

L A