Ahh well I figure we will talk about everything here. Just what ever we want and everything we want no one else to know LOL. A way to keep up with each other but yet no one else can interferre. Yanno? I miss you o so much. and I'd love to look into your eyes again. See if it is really still there. Hows things going with H? hows the new life? is it like what we had? things are ok here i guess.. nothing much changes. I went to moms this past weekend. it snowed.. i thought of you...

I know it seems i chose to. I just tried to protect you sweety. And i have that stupid quality of protecting people even if it means hurting me. or something i want. all of the things mentioned here is another reason i wantedt "this". so we could .. Just open up .. no hideing anything with no worries of anyone.my mind is so blank at the moment. I will have to think about what i have to say. I always try to think through what i say. Did you read my diaryx yet?? Maybe this will help us both...

Your diaryx is blocked at work - so i wont ever be able to read it. I always seem to busy at home to even get online anymore. I have nothing else planned for her christmas, all i have so far is those games and the microwave. She has gobs of jewelry so im not going for any of that. What do you mean by 'leaving it open for possibility"? Leaving what open?

Well I leave the future open to possibility. Yanno.. I dont write off anything. Cause anything could happen. Hrm Well if she has plenty of Jewlery. Then maybe you could get her something like a Nice Bedspread out fit. Or something Like curtains or.. Geez lol I'm trying to think She likes photography you might get her something in that department. I dont know what I want for xmas.. I did ask for some 14 k gold earrings. That i really liked. I got a Really nice watch already and nice jeweler...

I just mean we end up debateing about some of it.. lol nothing bad. Well talking isnt bad hon .. we used to talk alot. just maybe not at the time of sleep. But i also know where shes comeing from .. i like talking in bed makes it personal and intimate comfy even. L hates that to.. so i learned not to communicate as much. takes a bit of time. I think it is nice that you go a hour earlier for her not all men would do that. Maybe you could try talking to her in some other kind of intimate settin...

Sorry i was away so long. But im back now, so its all good. My break was pretty good, except for the fact of going without any for 2 weeks. That sucks. The one thing that bothers me most about hannah is when we go to bed, she always starts talking. We've talked about it, and shes gotten better now - but its forced me to go to bed an hour earlier just so we can talk about crap without cutting into my sleep. It also looks like she will be getting a job soon, which will be good for the both of u...

yeah i remember that. Remember that camera??? And them pictures you took. LOL The ones of me on the comp. buying gifts for alot of people isnt bad. You just have to be organized n Plan ahead. Start buying through the year as things are on sale.. ect Its not so bad. But I just got a late start. Alot of things going on yanno .. Plus you have to listen to the things they want n like. That is a major key to buying them things. They girls are getting a Dvd/mp3/cd player. Dale earndart Jr st...

Well it's not such a horrible thing i guess. But thats my opinion and not everyone would agree with that. Make sure your careful I dont want to see you wrapped up into someting that you cant get out of. Emotional like how? Explain lol Emotional could mean alot of things to a woman. And yes You should thank god every day your a Man not female. lol Ive not been feeling real well. Been sick ..A cold and sinus. sucky! That's when life is the hardest on me cause my life or the life of the kids d...

LOL yes I remember. And do you remember the T-Bones? And the BBQ Chicken? All your friends loved the chicken. I dont drink MtDew Ane more. I Drink DR Pepper lol. you think buying for one person is hard??? LOL well lets count .. i got some where around 20 people to buy for. LOL And as far as the kids go i gotta keep it even? How do you keep it even? Its impossible lol I end up buying stuff right up until xmas day LOL ... its horrible. Why not get her a nice set of pots n pans??? or A nice ...

"If i can't be the one to furfill your dreams I want someone there who can." Its not that you cant, its that you chose not to. You had the opportunity, and you said no. You said you found someone better. Even after i begged and pleaded with you. I dont know what you mean by being linked. Other than being one of my best friends and what that entails, i dont feel any sort of 'connection' with you. I miss you alot, and think about you all the time - but i dont understand the connection thing...

I understand your whole paragraph. And I know exactly what you mean by when you say about how you felt and how you feel now. I feel the same. I love L but i know how i felt with you. And yes I am the same way I know how it will be if i ever see you again. and Im mixed about how i feel about that. Part of me says yes and part of me says no. . I am glad things with you n her are doing so well. I am very Happy for you. and I do mean that. If i can't be the one to furfill your dreams I want...